Rule 24

“Your problems are not their problems”. Repeat that to yourself about a hundred times until you get it. Daycare issues, commuting problems, having to take the bus and transfer four times in order to get to the office – your issues are none of their concern. If you are going through a messy divorce, it’s none of their business. Different orientation? Transgendered? Again, none of their business. Let them fall in love with your professional skills. Later, once they adore you for the valuable team player you are, they'll find out. Maybe. Slowly but surely does it.

No good was ever accomplished by opening up too soon, too fast, hoping this would make a co-worker or supervisor like you more, and feel closer to you. What ends up happening is that you eventually feel naked and betrayed, because they don't know you well enough to like you for you yet, and they take the new to them, seemingly raw and unpolished facts of your life and judge you based on fragmentary information. They don't have you in their minds as a coherent whole, a person whom they treasure and value. They just have these jagged little pieces. Don't let it blow your reputation on the job.

One last thing – make sure you always have business cards on you that list your cell and/or pager number, a link to your personal web site, or a link to your downloadable resume, and your name, title, etc. on it. This way, should you happen to run into a recruiter or hiring manager while you're out to lunch, at the movies, or wandering around the mall, you can capitalize on the opportunity. Rules girls are all about not wasting time.